These people have learned to live with drunks, as selfish and selfserving as any abuser. Other tools of alanon recovery slogans, the serenity. Alanon detachment is not judgmental, unkind, or condemning. Detachment works best when you can detach with love. Downloadable resources north florida, district 12 afg. Detachment in naranon we learn that we are not responsible for the illness or actions of others or the results of those actions. F2 information and tips for grs as forum representatives letting your group know about the forum.
Detachment with love was difficult for me to understand. Such as, if you dont go to treatment, ill leave you. Anon is a mutual support program for anyone whose life has been affected by someone elses drinking or using. In alanon, a 12step program for friends and families of alcoholics, there is an. It strengthens our healthy relationshipsthe ones that we want to grow and flourish.
The alanon program is based on the suggested twelve steps of alcoholics anonymous, which we try, little by little, one day at a time, to apply to our lives along with our slogans and the serenity prayer. We do this by learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help with our limitations. We are not responsible for another persons disease or recovery from it. The material presented here is not alanon conference approved literature. We let go of our obsession with anothers behavior and begin to lead happier and more. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. The way alanon meetings start is someone reads from one of the alanon books, something that was useful or something they used or had meaning to them and they add their feelings or situation.
Detachment detachment alcoholism is a family disease. Anon members share their insights and experiences with each other. Alanon teaches men and women to live with alcoholics, both practicing and sober. Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. Today i can let him lead his life the way he wants and i can lead mine the way i want. The importance of detachment learn to detach with love. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another persons disease or recovery from it. This is an excellent series of questions and im with you. Man, the people we love can really be a big mess we have to clean up. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level. We can still love the person and dislike their behavior. One of the most helpful aspects of alanon group meetings is the opportunity to voice our dilemmas.
Eight reasons why detaching with love is good for your addicted loved one. Detachment is one of the most valuable techniques al anon. But shes new to this program, so baby steps it will be. Alanon, a mutualhelp group for people with alcoholic friends or family members, pioneered the idea of detachment with love. Detachment doesnt mean a lack of interest or a lack of feeling. Alateen and alanon have valuable tools we can apply to help us.
Its an attitude of accepting calmly whatever happens. Family and friends often feel trapped in their loved ones addiction. San francisco alanon district 12 is part of the northern california world service area. In alanon we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone elses drinking. Except for the fact we have absolutely no power to clean up anyones. Detaching the person from their disease how alanon works, detachment section in chapter 11. Alanon family groups newest video offers short presentations for outreach to three primary audiencesadults, teens, and professionals. Here are some of the best al anon recovery slogans and sayings that will get you encouraged. Its easy to interpret detached love, though, as a form of numbing, minimizing, or ignoring the effects of your qs addiction, ultimately keeping the addiction in the position of. Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with anothers behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a power greater than ourselves. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively. Detaching is a process detaching is something you do.
To prepare for the workshop, first select the topic or topics to be covered from the following list. Podcasts from alanon members on how they practice the twelve steps. These catchy al anon recovery slogans will help inspire you to come up with your own slogan ideas. Without detachment, it is much harderif not impossibleto create an atmosphere for healing so that the gift of recovery can be discovered and passed on. How to help an addict by detaching with love hazelden. Embrace detachment as a path to freedom addiction recovery and alanon selfhelp book casey, karen on.
Detaching with love control is a central issue in addiction. If he fails in it, the failure is not mine, no matter what others may think or say about it one day at a time in alanon, 1987, page 29. Great for outreach to professionals, their clients, and the public. Addicts convince themselves that they can control their use. We do this by learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help with our. Alanon, the family support group offshoot of alcoholics anonymous, is a 12step program for those who live with alcoholism in their home. In alanon we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someones elses drinking. By sharing common experiences and applying the principles of the program. Your first alanon meeting district 5 detachment talk reading from alanon youtube pdf alanon family groups. Codependency and the art of detaching from dysfunctional. Such threats were a gamble that fear could force an. Neither kind, nor unkind there are valuable principles we can learn from the alanon program. Detachment from a family member with alcoholism verywell mind. We wouldnt take it personally or blame the person for being inconsiderate or weak.
But many of us find it difficult even to begin this selffocused process because we have lost track. Embrace detachment as a path to freedom addiction recovery and alanon selfhelp book. How to help an addict by detaching with love hazelden betty ford. Originally, detachment with love was a call for family members to stop adapting. Simply put, detachment means to separate ourselves emotionally and spiritually from other people. The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of alanon literature thus make us ready to receive the priceless gift of. By focusing on things on can change, one will feel hopeful again. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency. Although i first needed to learn detachment because of the alcoholics i loved, it is now a guiding principle in many other situations, one of the powerful alanon principles that, as.
Alanon detachment teaches family and friends of the alcoholic to focus on their own behaviors instead of the behaviors of the alcoholic. Living with the effects of someone elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. Detachment with love episode 188 the recovery show. My best example for me was when my loved one passed out on the floor. It benefits our difficult relationships the ones that are teaching us to cope. The best way to practice detachment is to learn to stay positive. In alanon, a 12step program for friends and families of alcoholics, there is an important saying to help remind us of those necessary boundaries in relationships with addicts. In the context of the alanon program, detach with love is the idea that the family has to let go of their loved ones problem. The opening or welcome statement is usually read at the start of every meeting as a way to welcome newcomers. Buddy t is an anonymous writer and founding member of the online alanon outreach committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. The better i get at detachment, the more loving and lighthearted our time together becomes. Audio podcasts from alanon members who share their experience, strength and hope on different topics. This literature supplements the facetoface meetings where al.
Anon family groups published more than 100 books and pamphlets that share alanons single purpose. In fact, many abusers also suffer from related disorders such as. We become aware that we are obsessed with anothers behavior and as we learn to let go we find that we can live our own lives in a more manageable, happier and constructive way. One of the first tools taught in alanon is detachment from the. In the context of the alanon program, detach with love is the idea that the. But as alanon grew, people misunderstood detachment with love as a way to scare alcoholics into changing. One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Detaching in relationships alanon daily reflection 23rd december fragments medium. For friends and family of a person dealing with alcohol or drug addiction, detachment can be a difficult concept to grasp.
Dont make this painful mistake when it comes to emotional. Detachment, love, and forgiveness personal boundaries alanon recovery is about reclaiming our own lives. Detachment with love is a tool that we can apply with anyone. Developing positivity takes time and energy, but its time and energy youd otherwise spend.
One big difference is that im not married to my q, so feel free to take all this with a grain of salt first, your written summary sounds pretty spot on. Articles by members who share their experience, strength, and hope and other articles on how the program works links. Detatchment allows us to let go of our obsession with anothers behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a power greater. The alanon book, courage to change, states, detachment with love means that i stop depending upon what others do, say or feel to determine my own wellbeing or to make my decisions. If someone we love had the flu and cancelled plans with us, most of us would understand. Instead of making him move to the bed and canceling my plans for the evening, i gave him a blanket and went to visit a friend. I wouldnt have been able to take care of myself before alanon. True love will get us to do what is best for the person, not whats easiest. We can still love the person without liking the behavior. Part of living a healthier life is learning to love the alcoholic despite his or her.
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